late bloomer

November 19, 2009 § 2 Comments

Not too many people know this.  Probably because I’m a bit embarrassed, even ashamed, to admit the truth about what I want.  And perhaps I’m ashamed because I’ve been so sheepish about actually doing anything about it.  Because I haven’t been bold enough to truly take that first real step and fall into it.

I know why I want to be a doctor.  It’s not something I ever really talk about in front of people. I won’t converse on the subject at length — unless I think you wouldn’t judge me, or worse, wonder why in the world I would believe I’d be good at something like medicine.

Truth is that I kind of already knew before I even graduated college.  I knew because I’d feel an undeniable rush of jealousy when I’d hear pre-med students cramming on the buses from the Water Street dorm, or when my friends were taking their MCATs and getting into medical school.  Even as I grow as a writer — ghostwriting for a brilliant human being, learning so much about the good work being done in our world — I couldn’t let this idea, hope, dream fly away from me.

Lately, the inaction has been eating at me, and I am ready to stop saying, “tomorrow.”  Good friends push me, and I’m thankful for the ones I feel comfortable enough to speak about this with.  It’s hard to admit that I’m late in blooming, but I’ve made the choice for myself: I will become a doctor, and I will work so hard to get there.  And, once I’m there, everything I really need to know will begin right there.  The real learning will begin right there.  And my impact will be great.

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